okay i've no fucking idea why i give in so easily .
my mum keeps telling me " si dou bu ren shu "
whenever i argue with her .
and i always ( well almost ) win .
over small things i'll make sure i won't give in ,
i'll prove my arguement .
i'll adduce evidence .
i'll do anything .
but when it comes to favours or whatever .
why do i give in so easily .
why do i go ,
okay , i'll do it .
okay , i'll help you .
and end up getting stabbed in the back .
or end up getting toyed ,
or end up getting just ....
so frustrated ?
._____. ,
i know this sounds so dumb .
but recently ,
i've been fucking irritated with my friend .
okay , my gan to be exact .
no cherie ,
not you .
i mean ,
do i have to abide to his every demand ,
just because i'm his gan ?
urgh ._. .
yeah ,
if i don't he blackmails .
okay i'm fucked up already .
i hate guys .
i'm emotionally fragile .
okay whatever .
ever since that harassment case ,
i'm afraid of guys who stare at me .
or whatever .
with that look .
i'm scared of being harassed again .
it's fucking scary okay .
have an indian guy fucking stalk you ,
calling you during midnight to say someone commited suicide .
and calling you to say you're the only one who can save her .
then leaving gazillion voicemessages on my hp when i switched it off ,
further more ,
when my mum called the number back ,
a chinese guy answered the phone ,
saying it was one of his workers ,
who's a mad man escaped from mental hospital or something ,
and currently sought after by the police ,
who used his phone to harass me .
uh .
i couldn't sleep for days okay .
==" .
yes i can deal with those guys who stare at me ,
when i'm on the bus or mrt or whatever .
but .
i can't take those who walk behind you constantly ,
especially when you're somewhere deserted .
uhhs .
thankkews justina ,
for being there when i was , harassed ? -.- .
noo ,
strangers are NOT ,
i repeat ,
NOT falling in love with me .
i'm seriously freaked okay !
yer ,
someone said i should file a police report ,
agaisnt my gan ,
for blackmailing me .
and something else i'm too embarrassed to say ._. .
FUCK ,
I KNOW
I SOUND
LIKE
AN
EMOTIONAL
WRECK
OF A
BITCH
BUT I
CAN'T
HELP IT
SORRYokay whatever .
i want to kill him already _l_ .
TT ~ .
And I wanna believe you,
When you tell me that it'll be ok,
Ya I try to believe you,
But I don't
When you say that it's gonna be,
It always turns out to be a different way,
I try to believe you,
Not today, today, today, today, today...
I don't know how to feel,
tomorrow, tomorrow,
I don't know what to say,
tomorrow, tomorrow
Is a different day
It's always been up to you,
It's turning around,
It's up to me,
I'm gonna do what I have to do,
just do
Gimme a lil time,
Leave me alone a little while,
Maybe it's not too late,
not today, today, today, today, today...
I don't know how to feel,
tomorrow, tomorrow,
I don't know what to say,
tomorrow, tomorrow
Is a different day
And I know I'm not ready,
Maybe tomorrow
And I wanna believe you,
When you tell me that it'll be ok,
Ya I try to believe you,
Not today, today, today, today, today...
Tomorrow it may change
xoxo 1:55 PM
