A recount

Rated: K+
Warning: Content below may contain explicit scenes.

Sabby


A moan escaped through her partially opened mouth as she continued to push the sharp blade of her penknife deeper into her. Her skin started to give way as she saw the lighter shade of fresh skin inside. Starting again from the same point, she retraced that line, pressing harder this time. It was not like how books often describe; the blood does not immediately gush out, staining the person and everything else, but instead, it comes at the end. She continued the same fluid motion over and over again, each time adding more pressure.

She suppressed the rising urge to cry as it pressed strongly against her. Biting her lip she stopped. Slowly, she removed the penknife off herself as she let the cut slowly work its way into her system. With a paroxysm of pain or relief, she’d never know, the blade landed on the nicely, marble tiled floor with a soft clank, and she cried.

She bawled and sobbed, letting her snot run, not caring to wipe away anything away. She clutched her arm tightly as it continued to throb angrily with agony, but other than that she did nothing. Her insides were empty, her mind drew a blank. Her heart knew no emotion, her eyes were unable to see anything. Heaving, her chest fluttered. In one fluid motion, she drew her uncut hand to her head. She dug her nails heavily into her scalp till it tore off, like little bits of snow.

“It hurts.”

But it wasn’t her head, or her hand that aggrieved. It was her heart. The emotional turmoil she had buried deep inside her was uncontainable. That deep cut had help to unlatch that lock, relieve some of that burden, but now it was back to square one, except that now it ached both on the inside and outside.

Glistening under the light in the toilet, the blood began to creep out from the dent in her skin. It made its way apathetically, dripping in whichever way it wanted to. Her eyelids fluttered as she tried desperately to open her eyes.

“I’m so tired.”

Summoning up all the little energy she had left, she pushed open those lead lids. At first all she saw was white, she thought she saw Heaven. Then her head throbbed again, agonized. Colour slowly began to sweep in from the corners, carefully draping bits of objects with life.


She used her right hand, the unhurt one, to switch on the tap. Cold water burst out and she immediately placed her left hand under its stream.

“It still hurts, so much.”

She quickly removed her hand and applied pressure on it with some toilet paper. Her body slumped more into the toilet seat as fatigue swamped over her. Little shots of adrenalin ran through her, sending shivers down her spine.

“I can’t take it anymore.”

All the memories of the jovial times she had had clouded her train of thought. It was all so perfect at that time of her life, but all it took was a few words to ruin it all, to rip apart her life. She crumbled that day, resembling bits and pieces of jigsaw. Her soul left her that day, leaving in its place a vast black hole.

“I don’t want to take it anymore.”

The ache and pain swelled within her, as if in a balloon that will never pop. The salty tears went from being beads to just forming a never ending stream. She stumbled at first, but then steadied herself as she climbed to the top of the toilet bowl, and reached to the side where she skillfully unlatched the window pane.

“You are my life.”

She felt her heart turn. He really was her life, and without him she could not survive. She lived off the unbreakable bond in which they shared, or so she thought it was till that day he had left her. He cares, she had thought but now she knew otherwise. Carefully, she sat herself upon the ledge.

“I love you.”

She murmured a quick little prayer, praying to God to send an angel to watch over you, to take her place, because even after she was gone, she still would have wanted you to be safe, to be happy. She cried finish whatever her reserved had left and wiped away the stains. The blood was still dripping from her wound, her body was still weak.

“Don’t leave me.”

With a deep breath and what little life she had left, she pushed herself off the ledge, and she fell.


The End
xoxo 2:06 PM