I haven't written a story in the longest time because I am the biggest procrastinator on Earth.
Surprisingly, I finished this story in a span of 2 hours.
Certainly my fastest ever.
I guess I'm making up for lost time, lol.
Though that doesn't really help much.

But anyway, hope whoever's gonna read it, that you'd enjoy ;)

A/N: Story dedicated to my lovely brother, LGY.
Thanks also to Dr. Cindy Childress who taught me how to give my characters life and depth. Also to the panel discussion w writers from all over the world that inspired this story’s format.

Faith


Letters from one lover to another that didn’t care.

…

14th June 2009

Baby,

I was late for school today. But I didn’t care, as usual. I thought it just and the natural thing to do; just, because I was spending time with you yesterday. I didn’t tell you, but I had to scour every part of my house just to find that extra cash to call a cab and get myself to your – our as I would like to say – house.

As usual, when you opened the door, my stomach flipped and my heart raced, just like how every clichéd girl-in-love would say she experienced. But it’s true, baby, it really is. I always get the jitters when I’m with you. Though you may not feel the same way, but I certainly do. And even though it’s been two years since we’ve been together, I can’t get rid of that feeling, that anxiousness. I think I’d die with it.

I wanted to hug you when I saw you. I reached out and opened my arms, just like how fathers would when receiving their child into their arms. But you hit me and said, “don’t be stupid.” I don’t know what I did wrong, but I’m sorry if I made you angry. I just wanted that hug, but I understand if it’s stupid to still expect a hug every time I see you, after all this while.

The bags I lugged there were heavy. In fact, I almost fell carrying them all up. I brought a lot of things for you, baby. But you didn’t even look and asked me to store them away tidily. And so I did. Alone, I unpacked everything – all the canned foods, the drinks, the snacks, and placed them in their respective areas. When I was done, I looked for you, and when I did, I encased you in a hug, of which you reciprocated, and instantly I smiled without even knowing it. Like those who try to act innocent, I looked up at you through heavy lashes, keeping my head adjusted in such a way that you’d be seeing my best angle. I wanted a kiss, but once again, you told me, “don’t be stupid.” And I knew that the moment had ended.

You went back to your computer, furiously typing away as you tried to win whatever online game you were hooked on to now. I knew better than to disturb you, and so I did not. I went about my own business, helping you tidy up your place. Keeping away my frown in an imagined duffel bag, I pictured myself throwing it out of the window, and hoping that it would land in some faraway sea. Forcing myself, I smiled, getting ready to do what I was expected to.

I started with the floor. I mopped and I scrubbed and I cleaned and I swept. With meticulous care I carried out each task, because I knew you were highly allergic to dust. I caught a glimpse of the clock hung on the wall; 4.39 am. It was late, and I was about to fall asleep standing. But you were still playing your game, and I didn’t want to disturb you. I didn’t want to make you angry. And so I continued, packing your room and the rest of the house. When I was finally done, you came up to me and said that it was late, and I had to go home. Without saying another word, you unlocked the door, and escorted me out, to where I would have to flag another cab just to get back home on time. Before the cab came though, you bent down to plant a soft kiss on my lips for a mere second, but in that second, I knew, that this night – and all that I’ve done, was worth it.

When I got home, I was too exhausted to rush for school, and so I was late. I’m so sorry baby, I hope you’ll forgive me one day.

Xxx
Faith.

…

21st June 2009

Baby,

I was just looking through our old photographs together. And I really miss the old times. Remember the first time we went to the beach together, baby? Well I’m not sure if you remember – not that I expect you to, I mean, it was so long ago; but I remember the whole day perfectly, and I know I’ll never forget, because it’s permanently etched in my mind.

You were different then.

When you came to fetch me, I remembered how good you looked. You were wearing that black polo tee that I bought for you, and the denim jeans we ripped together. The smell of your cologne hung unto me as you picked me up in a hug and swung me in a tiny circle before you let me down carefully because I said I was dizzy. I regret it now – the saying I was dizzy, because you don’t carry me now or swing me around or even hug me too often; and I miss all of that.

We walked to a nice shady spot of which you skillfully spotted, and I started to unpack all our things for the lovely picnic you planned. You said that you needed to go to the washroom, and so I counted to seconds before you would return. In the meantime, I hastily unpacked everything and settled them nicely, so that we could start eating when you came back. I knew you were hungry, I could hear your stomach complaining.

Suddenly, as I was settling down a glass, a pair of hands covered my eyes, impairing my vision. I forced down a scream as I heard a familiar voice asking me, “guess who?” I giggled, because you were so silly, and I guessed it right on my first go. “My clever girl, no one else can ever compare,” you told me. And then you did another thing that threw me off my feet. From behind you surfaced the biggest and most beautiful bouquet of pink roses I have ever seen, and my mouth formed the biggest ‘O’ that could possibly be formed. “For my one and only,” you said to me, and then you placed the bouquet gently in the crook of my arms. “Oh no, that’s not the end,” you told me, when I grinned at my flowers.

You took a step back, so that you were standing right in front of me, and pulled out yet another box from behind your back. At that point, I wondered exactly how many things you could hide behind your back, and pondered if – possibly, I could fit behind there, too. Out of nowhere, you fell to one knee, opened the box, and crooned in your most velvety voice –
“Faith, my love, my precious, my everything. Have I ever told you, how pretty you are, how lucky I am? And now, I want to be lucky forever. Will you marry me?”

I could have sworn my voice was frozen, and I was too, just like a statue. But I managed to joke how we were still young, because you were only nineteen then, and I, sixteen. Though I quickly added that yes, I was willing to marry you, because I knew there and then and even before, that you were The One, and I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of forever with you. “It’s ok,” you said, “I’ll wait. I’ll wait till we’re both older and possibly less fun.” I loved your sense of humor; you always knew how to make a tense situation feel like the most right thing on earth.

We continued with our picnic then, and I concluded that that day was for sure, the best day of my life.

Xxx
Faith.

…

29th June 2009

Baby,

I don’t know where we went wrong. But I guess I’m used to it. I came to your house again, as usual, where I brought the usual things, and did the usual chores, and you played your usual games. The usual, as usual.

I don’t know how long I can take this, baby. This routine has gone on for so long. I’m physically tired, but I never complain, because I don’t want to upset you. I’m mentally tired, but I’ve learnt to stop thinking about it, to numb the pain instead, because that makes it bearable.

I don’t know why we’re like this now, but I think I may know.

It was just another day, just another ordinary day. We were seated in our usual cinema, and, if my memory doesn’t fail me, I guess we were watching Harry Potter. Or some show that you wanted to catch. You had your arms around me, and we were sharing a drink – ice lemon tea, our favorite. After the movie ended, we purposely took the longer bus to my place, like how we always did. I remember you slipped me a letter, and I still have it now.

Faith, my baby, my love.

Have I ever told you how beautiful you are? I love how your eyes always light up when we’re together. I love how your lips pull themselves automatically into the most amazing smile I have ever seen in my life. I love how your hair shines with life and bounces so care freely of your shoulders. You are so, so, so, beautiful, and I don’t know what I did to deserve you picking me out of your long line of suitors. I love you, Faith, I really do, and xxx.

I can’t believe you wrote all those, but I knew I melted when I read it. You were such an amazing boyfriend, and that was why I picked you out of the rest.

But when we reached my house, you suddenly seemed angry and moody. I quickly followed your eyes to where you were so intensely glaring at, and I could have sworn that my eyes were going to pop out of my head. Sitting there, ever so intently, at my doorstep, was Josh – one of my ever-persistent suitors.

The minute Josh saw me, words shot out of his mouth as if it were a tap left on. The most ridiculous things poured out, of how we had spent a night together, of how we had had dinner together, and other crude things I would never have even dared to think of, must less actually carry them out with Josh. I started to protest and rebut his absurd claims, but I think you zoned out then, because you were just staring into nowhere, and not answering any of us.

I think I must have hurt you very bad. Because you didn’t listen to my explanation, even though I really swear I did not do anything of which Josh claimed. From then on, you just zoned out on me, and everything we did together. It really hurt me, too, because I hated the new you, but I abhorred myself even more for landing you in this state. I’m sorry, baby, I really am. I don’t know how I can ever make up the injustice I have so selfishly and thoughtlessly inflicted on you. But I still love you, baby. I will love you forever.

Xxx
Faith.

…

4th July 2009

Baby,

Why won’t you call me? Why won’t you reply my texts? Why won’t you talk to me?!! I am going crazy, baby, please don’t ignore me! Please baby, I don’t know what I did wrong, but not having you in my life for even a day kills me, and it’s been weeks, baby, weeks. Please don’t do this to me, baby. Please.

I’m sorry that I missed a spot on your couch, I’m sorry if I cried when you hit me because I didn’t do my job properly. I promise I won’t be so tardy the next time. I will do my best, and continue to do my best for you, because that’s what you deserve, baby, that’s exactly what you deserve.

Xxx
Faith

…

28th July 2009

Baby,

I’m sorry that I haven’t written to you for you long. My mind has been a blank ever since you left, but I know that you’re in a better place now, where I could never possibly hurt you. I hope you’re happy, baby, and I’m sorry for all you’ve had to endure whilst you were still here with me. I hope that you’d never have to experience those pains again, because an angel like you deserves so much more.

I really miss you, and I hope that I can hold you in my arms, again, but I know that you wouldn’t like that.
Take care, baby, and please be safe. I will miss you forever and ever.

Xxx
Faith.

…

A letter for Faith:


7th July 2009

My dearest Faith,

I’m sorry I had to leave you. I’m sorry, that for the past year, I’ve locked myself up, and kept myself as distant as possible from you. Faith, my honey, I hope that when I’m gone, that you’d find someone so much better for you, because I know I have not treated you with the respect and love that you ought to have had.

I guess I just couldn’t forgive myself for not protecting you from all your crazy suitors. I’m sorry, I failed you my darling. But now that I’m going to be out of the picture, you will be so much better off, baby.

I still think of you every night, and I know that you have suffered so much with me. Sorry for mistreating you, I just wanted you to leave me, and you don’t know how much it hurt me, Faith, baby, to treat you how I did the past year. I hated myself every time I hit you, and I thought you were the dumbest girl to have stuck with me through it all. I really don’t know why you love me so much, you silly girl. I really didn’t know how to leave you without hurting you, because I knew that if you cling on forever, you would go nowhere.

I know now, that the only way I can stop hurting you, is to just disappear forever. And that’s what I’m doing now. I’ve planned everything, and I’m sure nothing will go wrong. Please take care, my dearest, and I wish you all the best.
I love you, and still will, wherever I may be going.

Xxx
G.

The End
xoxo 7:55 PM