Was talking to Kimmie on MSN.

Fail #1.

T: BTW, I tried curling my hair today, HAHAHAHAHHAHAH.
K: LOLOL HOW WAS IT. goldilocks
T: YA, LOL, LOOKS OK LA, BUT MAKE ME LOOK OLD
K: but even if you trap in the castle no one will save you...
T: Goldilocks wasn't trapped in a castle, LOL
K: RLY, RLY? THEN, IS IT THE PORRIDGE??? THE PORRIDGE SHE EAT
T: THE THREE BEARS HOUSE LA
K: :'(:'(:'( :'(:'(:'( IS IT THE WOLF BLOW THE STRAW HSE? no la that's red riding hood
T: NO, THREE LITTLE PIGS.
K: OMFG
T: OMGGGGG
K: OMFG, OMFG, ARE YOU SRS
T: YES, LOLLLLLL
K: NO ER IM NOT KIDDING, IM NOT PRETENDING, LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL, OMG
T: LIL RED RIDING HOOD IS THE WOLF WANNA EAT HER

Fail #2.

K: ER RED RIDING HOOD GOT WOLF, LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL, then what's the
T: THREE LIL PIGS IS THE WOLF BLOW DOWN THEIR HOUSES, OMGGGGGGG
K: lang lai le!!! lang lai le!!!
T: THREE LIL PIGS LA
K: I FORGOT LA
T: FIRST IS STRAW HOUSE, NEXT IS STICKS
K: OKOK
T: LAST IS BRICK
K: OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fail #3.

K: snow white got 7 dwarves
T: YA
K: HA!!!! BEAT THAT!!!
T: DWARFS, LOLLLLL

Fail #4.

K: i dont want to talk to you alr
T: I NEED TO RETEACH YOU YOUR FAIRYTALES, LOL. TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS IN SNOW WHITE
K: LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. READ ME BEDTIME STORIES, -cuddles-
T: LOLLLLLL, OK, RDY?
K: :$:$
T: RDYYYYY?
K: :$:$:$:$:$:$:$:$:$:$::$$
T: RDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?
K: I WANT HAPPY ENDING
T: OK
K: ok, -covers ears-
T: .....

Fail #5.

T: READY OR NOT, I GOING TO START LEH
K: NO I SLEEP ALR
T: KNNCCB
K: MAMA PLS TURN OFF THE LIGHTS, AND MAKE YOUR WAY OUT
T: ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
K: OF MY RM. LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Fail #6.

T: I GOING TO START TELLING ALR! READY OR NOT
K: NO
T: I DON'T CARE, -STARTS-
K: LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL WHAT KIND OF
T: ONCE UPON A TIME
K: LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
T: THERE WERE TWO PRINCESSES
K: kimmie
T: ONE WAS KIMMIE,
K: :$:$:$:$
T: AND THE OTHER WAS TESSA.
K: ........
T: THAT DAY
K: ...............................................................................................
T: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
K: .....................................................................
T: I TELLING STORY OK
K: ......................................................
T: BITCHHHHHH
K: ....................................................
T: I DON'T WANT TELL ALR
K: ....... LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
T: SPOIL MY MOOD!!!!!

ANYWAY,
Point learnt from all this is Kimmie sucks,
Can't even remember her fairytales.
And, she cannot make up her mind,
Or, keep her mouth shut.

Thus I have to resort to completing my story here,
In peace!



Bedtime story for Kimmie

Once upon a time, there were two princessess, Kimmie and Tessa. Even though they were sisters, they were just step-sisters, because Kimmie's mother married Tessa's father after Kimmie's father, the King, died a horrible death (fell off his horse then landed on the expressway). Because Kimmie was the 'true' princess, she always bullied Tessa, making her do chores everyday for 23 hours, like clipping Kimmie's toenails and brushing her long, untidy hair. And Kimmie could get away w it, because the Queen and King were too busy fucking in their bedroom to care what their daughters were doing. (King wanted Queen to have another baby, but because he is lacking down there, they had to try extra hard.)

The truth is, when the Queen chose to marry Tessa's father, Kimmie disapproved of that fact, because Tessa was very pretty. Tessa's hair was longer and silkier than hers, her skin fairer than anyone in town, and her features the most proportionate. But Kimmie could not convince her mother not to marry, because her mother v desperately wanted to marry Tessa's father (he said that he is 28cm and can hold for 3 hours - which later proved to be a pathetic 10cm and a maximum erection time of 30 seconds.) So Kimmie had to be the bride's maid and go through w the wedding.

One day as Tessa was scrubbing the tiles of Kimmie's bathroom, Kimmie stormed in her bedroom, not knowing that Tessa was just next door. A loud thud was heared as Kimmie jumped into her bed, and another loud thud was heared as the Queen came into the bedroom and slammed the door.

"Ah girl, why so angry."
"You know one lor, next week the v handsome prince got ball, then I got nothing revealing to wear!"
"Aiyo, simple lah, I just order for you lor!"

Upon hearing that there was going to be a ball, Tessa got very excited and knocked over the pail of water.

"Wah, what's that sound, ah girl?"
"Er nothing lah."

But the Queen wasn't convinced, so she went into the toilet to see Tessa drenched in dirty water.

"Aiyo! Ah girl number 2, why you shower w clothes?"
"Sorry, I think I forget take off lah"
"Tsk, next time remember lah!"
"Okok I will."
"Btw hor, your invitation on the table outside"
"Ok, I later go take, thank you."

The Queen then left the room. Once she was out, Tessa ran out of the bathroom, only to see Kimmie running out too. They both raced to the table, but Kimmie reached first, and she took the invitation.

"EH! That is mine!! You got yours already lor, don't greedy can."
"I know I got mine, I just don't want you to go, BITCH!!!"

And with that, Kimmie shredded Tessa's invitation and threw it all over the floor. She also asked her to clean it up. Tessa was very sad, because she was looking forward to the ball. But the invitation was ruined, so there was no way she could go now. She cied as she cleaned up the mess, wishing there was a way to go to the ball.

Suddenly, there was a cloud of fairy dust, and the fairy godmother appeared.

"Ah girl number 2, why you crying?"
"Fairy godmother, Kimmie tear up my invitation, now I cannot go to the ball!"
"Nevermind lah, I help you!"

And with that said, the fairy godmother waved her wand a produced the most revealing dress ever.

"Take this and keep first, next week before the ball I help you again."

Tessa was very happy and kept the dress in her secret hiding spot - her closet. After that, she hurridly went back to doing her chores.

Just like that, a week passed and the fairy godmother came back to visit Tessa.

"Ah girl number 2, the ball going start alr, hurry change."

Tessa quickly ran to her closet and changed.

"Ok, now makeup and hair!"

With that, the fairy godmother waved her wand and gave Tessa a makeover. Tessa quickly thanked the fairy godmother and ran out.

"Wah fuck, I forget, Kimmie went already and she took the BMW carraige lor. Now how to go?"
"Aiya, BMW so what? I give you Porche ah!"

So the fairy godmother waved her wand and turned a nearby pumpkin into a Porche carraige. Tessa thanked her once again and sped off towards the ball.

When she reached, she quickly parked in the garden and went to the ball. Because she didn't have an invitation, she crawled through the toilet window. Despite smelling almost like shit, she looked stunning. So she went out, into the ballroom. Almost immediately, she spotted the Prince, Jason. She started walking towards Jason, who was dancing like a girl. Jason spotted Tessa, and stopped dancing immediately.

"Wah, you are the most sexist girl I have seen tonight! Can almost see everything!"

Kimmie heared Jason's exclaim and sprinted towards them.

"Walao Jason, that's what you said to me! And you, bitch, why you here?"

Tessa panicked, but Jason didn't hear what Kimmie said because he was too busy staring at Tessa's boobs.

"Er, I just wanted to come and dance w Jason."

Jason heard that though (because whenever people mention him, it was sure to be important - according to him anyway), and grabbed Tessa to dance, whilst trying to fondle her but failing. Tessa was still v happy though, because she finally got to dance w the most handsome man in the country.

Just then, the clock striked twelve, and Tessa remembered that she needed to go back home now, because she was cooking pot roast for supper, and it was going to spoil. So she quickly ran out, and in the process dropped her toenail. But she didn't notice. She went to her carraige and sped back home.

The prince was very sad because he thought Tessa was the prettiest princess he had ever seen, and he wanted to marry her. So he ran out, hoping to catch up w her, but he was too slow. He wanted to break down and cry, but just then, he saw the toenail and he picked it up. "It must have belonged to that sexy girl" he thought, so he ordered his guards to conduct a search the next day, to find the owner of the toenail.

The next day, the guards went around, house to house, to find the owner of the toenail. Finally, they arrived at the Queen's palace. When they knocked on the door, Kimmie sprinted out, shouting at them that it is her toenail. The guards tried to fit the toenail on her toes, but all of her toes got toenail, so the guards knew that Kimmie was not "the one". When asked whether there were any other girls in the palace, Kimmie quickly exclaimed no, and shoved them towards the door. But one of the guards was v pro and saw Tessa scrubbing the kitchen floor. So he called the guards and the Prince back in to try the toenail on Tessa.

When they did, it was a perfect fit, and the Prince also remembered Tessa from yesterday, and asked her to marry him. Tessa immediately said yes, and kissed the Prince, whilst the guards stopped Kimmie from throwing her stilettos at them.

The wedding was arranged and held, and Kimmie, not being able to deal w the anger and frustration, was sent to a metal asylum. But they all lived happily ever after. Well, except the Queen and the King because they still couldn't conceive a goddamn baby.

The End!




See, happy ending right!
LOLLL,
Ok I officially proclaim it to be the best bedtime story ever.
xoxo 12:53 AM