I can't take it,
Whenever you walk away.

xoxo 10:17 PM

Ahhh, English paper is tomorrow.
Everything got delayed one hour because of temperature taking.

I havn't done anything about English actually,
To say the truth.

Didn't memorise any formats shit.

Gonna do that tomorrow.

I'm so tired today.

Had math tuition followed immediately by chinese.
Seriously.
I totally couldn't make it.

I was like.
Can you let me sleep for 5 mins.
Then ended up sleeping for 10.

Omg I'm like so totally going to fail,
Hahha.

Anyway thanks to my babes Kim and Kimmie.
Lol.
For cheering me up today.
I heart you suckerzxzx :D

I didn't know,
Putting on a strong front was this hard,

It's only been 4 days without you,
But it seems like years.

Meine Liebe ist weg
Meine Liebe ist verletzt
Meine Liebe hat mir vergessen

xoxo 10:32 PM

The Writing Competition

Blogskins.com
Hosted by: flexibility.

Theme: Friendship
Section: 2, Essay

Abigail


The pale tips of my fingers trembled uncontrollably as I carefully maneuvered them across the uneven surface that was a cold, grey slab of marble. I lightly traced the delicate swirls of light that had been caught in time, sealed away forever in stone – just like you. Little dents were artistically chipped with utmost precision to spell out your name, A-B-I-G-A-I-L, and below it, ‘beloved daughter, treasured friend to all’. My nose started to burn again and my vision blurred. But no tears could flow, because ghosts cannot cry. Still, I could feel and experience emotions like how all humans do and I knew the reason why you were not here anymore, why you had to share the same fate as me. The reason – was me.

...

All noises were abruptly hushed, all faces swung hastily towards the door. Quick-paced, shallow breaths filled the room, but other than that, no other sound was heard. This was so typical. It happened wherever you went, whenever people saw you. You were so pulchritudinous that people could not help but to be mesmerized.

You had those deep hazel curls that streamed down your back as if endlessly, petite features that gave you that innocent look, eyes that were so dark it kept people drowning in their mystique. As you sauntered in gracefully, men dropped the soft hands of the girlfriends and wives, negligently, to cover the rising heat that was starting to stain the pale canvases of their skin a luscious red. Ladies pouted and whimpered, trying desperately to get back lost attention, though some stared opening, awe-struck.

You donned your favourite tee, the one I had given to you for your sixteenth birthday, and a pair of coral blue denim jeans. It complimented your hourglass figure perfectly. Countless pairs of eyes strayed to the generous slit that went down your chest in a ‘V’ shape, desperately trying to mentally devour your voluptuous assets. Others groped around the lower region, admiring your flowing, slim legs that, although you could not see it now, were painstakingly toned and bronzed.

When you reached me, you clasped a delicate hand round my back and pulled me into a tight embrace, your perfectly manicured nails digging deeper into me, your head snuggling in the crook of my neck. A soft squeak was heard from you, and that was when I noticed your flushed, tear-stained cheeks, your red-rimmed eyes.

“What’s wrong, Abi?”
“Nothing, Pam. I just, I just. I miss you, that’s all.”

I trusted you. You were probably just frightened from the fight through that forest of peering eyes, like you always were. I left that thought at the back of my head and beamed you an assuring smile. Giggling, you stopped the whole room again, eyes and ears both fixated solely on you. Grabbing my hand almost forcefully, you swiftly maneuvered us into the French restaurant – our favourite. We stumbled in and caught our breaths, thankful again that we had – or rather you had, managed to escape yet another visual murder.

You ordered the usual, and I ordered mine. You were awfully quiet that day, I should have noticed – but I did not. Words spewed out of my mouth ignorantly like a waterfall, while you sat there, as still and as beautiful as a Madonna, constantly sighing and running your slender fingers in your hair till it looked almost like hay. Your foie gras was getting cold as it sat untouched on your plate, not counting the random places where you scarred it with your knife.

With a resounding clank, your knife landed on the fine china. I slurred on my words as I stopped mid-way in the one-sided conversation. You reached inside your Gucci designer handbag and groped about for your wallet, twisting your mouth into a conjecture. Yawning, you found it, pursed it open, fished out a handful of fifty dollar bills, and slapped it nonchalantly on the table.

“Let’s go, Pam.”

I was, as dumb as it sounds, glued to my seat. Yes, I knew you were filthy rich, but a hundred dollar tip on top of the three hundred dollar lunch? I stared openly as you sashayed out, and suddenly realized how hollow you looked. Skin hung on your bones for dear life as if, if you lost an ounce more of weight, your skin would tear apart and you would spill all over the pavement. The luscious curls that once bounced off your back so enthusiastically now grew limp and seemed to have lost its shine, despite the obvious expensive preen. You threw a casual glance back, as if checking to see if I had moved. Your eyes - your pupils were so diluted and black, as if you had closed the doors to your soul. I blinked, as if hoping to find you back where you were, the same as before, but I was greeted by the same deprived husk.

“Let’s go, Pam. Now.”

More heads turned as they got enchanted by your sing-song voice. But I would not be deceived. Hurt and sorrow etched into those words, as if you had spit them all out with acid. The clicks of your stilettos against the pavement got fainter and fainter with every passing second that I was seated. As your best friend, I definitely knew something was wrong, very wrong, indeed, but I just did not want to get up. Heads cocked over to glance at me now, as if questioning, how could I have resisted such a Goddess?

…

A few days ago, you stormed into my house, unannounced. You plopped yourself on my leather sofa and the floodgates just opened. I bent down beside you, hugging you, keeping you safe with me, under my wing. I had let you cry your heart out, providing four-ply tissues, your preference, at regular intervals. The sofa squeaked and moaned under the sheer weight of you as you cried, shaking like a leaf in a storm.

“Hey, Abi, what’s wrong.”

Your chest stopped heaving up and down so drastically and the huge sobs toned down to whimpering.

“It’s Mic, he’s a bastard. He cheated on me. He’d rather that bitch, whoever she is, than me. He’s called off our engagement party. He called off our relationship.”

The waterworks started again, and this time I said nothing. I did not hold you, I did not console you. Because I knew, I was that bitch – and a very bad one at that. As mentioned time and time again, people could not help but irrevocably fall in love with you, but I just had to. I had to tear through the remarkably thick bond you two shared, shred it away painstakingly, layer by layer, desperately, using any underhand means I could get my hands on. All this because I was jealous, jealous of you.

“Oh Pam, I don’t want to live anymore. He was my life. He is my life!”

...

The sound of screeching tires pulled me back to the moment. I was still in the restaurant, but this time, I jolted straight up, almost knocking my chair over in the process. I tore past the annoyed glares, the inquisitive glances. My hair slapped my face continuously and tears streamed down uncontrollably as my legs twisted and knotted themselves together, not used to the breakneck speed at which I was sprinting at.

I stopped in my tracks, almost knocking myself over with that sudden action. Putrid smells of salt and rust filled the air and flared up my nostrils – without doubt, blood. Dark, billowing clouds of greenhouse gases clouded my view, ear-piercing sounds and pungent smells of burning rubber was witnessed. I waited impatiently for the thick layers of clouds to peel away, and that was when my heart leaped out of my body.

Scraped metal and shards of pristine glass were spewed all across the cross junction, punctured tires were heaving under the sheer heat of the raging fire that had just sparked. People, if you could still call them that, were broken and twisted, hanging over each other as if in a game of grotesque Twister.

I lunged toward the scene. I knew you were there, I just knew. I slapped myself on my forehead. How could I have been so ignorant? First, I betray you in the most inhumane way possible, and now I ignore the signs and clues you were so opening dropping at my feet? I did not deserve to be your best friend, much less your friend.

Shots of concern hurtled at me as my hand clasped tightly over my mouth, and all colour drained from my face. There you were, squashed in the middle between someone else and a side door from a Jeep. Your curls were flat and dead, dyed red from your blood that was profusely gushing out from that large gash embedded in your forehead. Your eyes were closed, your face smudged with dirt. Torn and begrimed, your clothes were a gone case. In the background, wails of ambulance and police sirens resounded but they could not help you. Your legs were twisted beneath you in weird angles, your stomach had another gash to compliment the gigantic one on your forehead, and your face was as pale as a sheet. Pain seemed to envelope you in a tightening blanket, not determined to let you go as it continued to suck the little life out of what was left of you.

I buckled to my knees, because I had just killed you.

Tears swamped my eyes as I threw my arms around me, as if trying to keep myself from breaking apart. The coarse gravel bit into my knees as I stayed cemented to the road, right in front of you. My mind drew a blank as I regurgitated my thoughts over and over. ‘I had just killed you. I had just killed you, Abigail Cladston, my best friend since we were five.’ The neckline of my shirt was wet now, be it with sweat or tears, it did not matter anyway. My khaki pants were stained dark red with blood at the knees as I pressed down even harder into the stones, as if I could pave a hole or tunnel in which I could crawl into and forget all of this, in which I could turn back time.

“Get away, Miss!”
“Move it! Move away, mad woman!”
“Please, miss, there’s a car coming!”

My chest heaved unevenly as I started hyperventilating and my heart palpitated. ‘What have I done? What kind of a friend am I? What do I really think of friendship?’ My throat hurt as if I was grinding sandpaper on it and I really wanted to dig my eyeballs out now. I slammed my hands on the road, almost hitting you in the process. Slowly, unsteadily, I tried to get up, only to get hit by an oncoming Subaru sports car.

…

My eyelids pressed down as if they were made of lead. I don’t want to wake up. I was so tired. My muscles seemed to have liquefied, because no matter how much effort I put in, I just could not lift anything, not even my little finger.

Doctors and nurses swamped in from all directions, all walking briskly, albeit quietly. Orders were shot and bounced off the room, sending the swift nurses into a hunting frenzy.

“Quick, I need blood. She’s losing blood fast. At this rate, she’s going to die.”
“But it’s too late. Her brain’s already dead, or close. If we don’t put her on life support, she really will be. Brain- dead that is.”
“Ok, let’s just put her on life support till her condition stabilizes.”

The buzzing stopped, everyone slowed down their pace. The sickly, green curtains were pulled back, and people bowed their heads.

I could not feel anything, still. But this time, it felt worse. I felt as if my insides have been turned inside-out, as if someone had stuck a large tube into my head. It was pounding, pounding so hard. And my heart, even though no one knew, it was bleeding.

…

“Pamela, can you hear me?”
“Y..yes..”
“I’m Doctor Sig. How are you feeling now?”
“It hurts. It hurts so much, Doctor.”
“Ah yes, well I’ve already prescribed the painkillers and I presume they will be fed to you in a while. In the meantime, I just want you to get some rest. And whatever you do, don’t touch the machine ok? You’re still not strong enough to get off it.”

I had been in a car accident, just like you. Except that you were in one, because of me. Every single painful memory came flooding back, rushing like mad to me. The saucy nights with Mic; the chain lying; the acting; the putting on a mask everyday. I could not stand it anymore. Everything weighed down heavily and forcefully on my conscience, threatening to break the bare thread of it.

Summoning up the little energy I had left, I reached across the vast distance from my bed to the life-support machine. My fingers swiped the air a few times before I successfully clinched the wire. ‘What have I done? What kind of a friend am I? What do I really think of friendship?’ Everything repeated in my head, as if it was on replay. What do I really think of friendship? Of our friendship? Well, I thought that it deserved another shot, to be saved from the scraps. Because I had loved you Abigail, and I still do. You were my best friend since we were both five. A bond like that can never be broken. A bond like that can never be lost. And now I have to make it up to you, because I am your best friend. I would do whatever it takes to atone for all the shit I did to you, all those damnable deeds.

And so, with a final deep breath, I tugged the wire. Then everything was gone, and I saw you, smiling back at me.


The End
xoxo 9:17 PM




My state of mind has finally
Got the best of me

I need you next to me

I'll try to find a way that I
Can get to you

Just wanna get to you
xoxo 7:06 PM

Please stop it.
Stop snatching happiness from me.

You make me so happy,
You really do.

Don't go.
But if you're going.
Then I don't want to stay either.

I love you,
Bye.
xoxo 11:19 PM

Don't Forget.

Did you forget that I was even alive?
Did you forget everything we ever had?
Did you forget, did you forget about me?

Did you regret ever standing by my side?
Did you forget we were feeling inside?

But somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song, you can't forget it

So now I guess this is where we have to stand
Did you regret ever holding my hand?
Never again, please don't forget, don't forget

We had it all, we were just about to fall
Even more in love, than we were before
I won't forget, I won't forget about us

And at last all the pictures have been burned
And all the past is just a lesson that we've learned
I won't forget, please don't forget us

Somewhere we went wrong
Our love is like a song but you won't sing along
You've forgotten about us
Don't forget

It's fate.

xoxo 10:11 PM






There's so much crap going on,
It's so hard to resist,
To end it all.
xoxo 10:01 AM

Decided to participate in another writing competition.
Don't know why I bother.

Hosted by: flexibility.
Theme: Friendship
Section: 2, Essay.

Just Draft 1 first.
Read if you want.















Abigail


The pale tips of my fingers trembled uncontrollably as I carefully maneuvered them across the uneven surface that was a cold, grey slab of marble. I lightly traced the delicate swirls of light that had been caught in time, sealed away forever in stone – just like you. Little dents were artistically chipped with utmost precision to spell out your name, A-B-I-G-A-I-L, and below it, ‘beloved daughter, treasured friend to all’. My nose started to burn again and my vision blurred. Crystals of tears began trickling down the pink of my cheeks, because I knew the reason why you were not here anymore. The reason – was me.

All noises were abruptly hushed, all faces swung hastily towards the door. Quick-paced, shallow breaths filled the room, but other than that, no other sound was heard. This was so typical. It happens wherever you go, whenever people see you. You were so pulchritudinous that people could not help but to be mesmerized.

You had those deep hazel curls that streamed down your back as if endlessly, petite features that gave you that innocent look, eyes that were so dark it kept people staring, hoping to pry open the secrets you bury deep in them. As you sauntered in gracefully, men dropped the soft hands of the girlfriends and wives, negligently, to cover the rising heat that was starting to stain the pale canvases of their skin a luscious red. Ladies pouted and whimpered, trying desperately to get back lost attention, though some stared opening, awe-struck.

You donned your favourite tee, the one I had given to you for your sixteenth birthday, and a pair of coral blue denim jeans. It complimented your hourglass figure perfectly. Countless pairs of eyes strayed to the generous slit that went down your chest in a ‘V’ shape, desperately trying to mentally devour your voluptuous assets. Others groped around the lower region, admiring your flowing, slim legs that, although you could not see it now, were painstakingly toned and bronzed.

When you reached me, you clasped a delicate hand round my back and pulled me into a tight embrace, your perfectly manicured nails digging deeper into me, your head snuggling in the crook of my neck. A soft squeak was heard from you, and that was when I noticed your flushed, tear-stained cheeks, your red-rimmed eyes.

“What’s wrong, Abi?”
“Nothing, Pam. I just, I just. I miss you, that’s all.”

I trusted you. You were probably just frightened from the fight through that forest of peering eyes, like you always were. I left that thought at the back of my head and beamed you an assuring smile. Giggling, you stopped the whole room again, eyes and ears both fixated solely on you. Grabbing my hand almost forcefully, you swiftly maneuvered us into the French restaurant – our favourite. We stumbled in and caught our breaths, thankful again that we had – or rather you had, managed to escape yet another visual murder.

You ordered the usual, and I ordered mine. You were awfully quiet that day, I should have noticed – but I did not. Words spewed out of my mouth ignorantly like a waterfall, while you sat there, as still and as beautiful as a Madonna, constantly sighing and running your slender fingers in your hair till it looked almost like hay. Your foie gras was getting cold as it sat untouched on your plate, not counting the random places where you scarred it with your knife.

With a resounding clank, your knife landed on the fine china. I slurred on my words as I stopped mid-way in the one-sided conversation. You reached inside your Gucci designer handbag and groped about for your wallet, twisting your mouth into a conjecture. Yawning, you found it, pursed it open, fished out a handful of fifty dollar bills, and slapped it nonchalantly on the table.

“Let’s go, Pam.”

I was, as dumb as it sounds, glued to my seat. Yes, I knew you were filthy rich, but a hundred dollar tip on top of the three hundred dollar lunch? I stared openly as you sashayed out, and suddenly realized how hollow you looked. Skin hung on your bones for dear life as if, if you lost an ounce more of weight, your skin would tear apart and you would spill all over the pavement. You threw a casual glance back, as if checking to see if I had moved. Your eyes - your pupils were so diluted and black, as if you had closed the doors to your soul. I blinked, as if hoping to find you back where you were, the same as before, but I was greeted by the same deprived husk.

“Let’s go, Pam. Now.”

More heads turned as they got enchanted by your sing-song voice. But I would not be deceived. Hurt and sorrow etched into those words, as if you had spit them all out with acid. The clicks of your stilettos against the pavement got fainter and fainter with every passing second that I was seated. As your best friend, I definitely knew something was wrong, very wrong, indeed, but I just did not want to get up. Heads cocked over to glance at me now, as if questioning, how could I have resisted such a Goddess?

…

A few days ago, you stormed into my house, unannounced. You plopped yourself on my leather sofa and the floodgates just opened. I bent down beside you, hugging you, keeping you safe with me. I had let you cry your heart out, providing four-ply tissues, your preference, at regular intervals. The sofa squeaked and moaned under the sheer weight of you as you cried, shaking like a leaf in a storm.

“Hey, Abi, what’s wrong.”

Your chest stopped heaving up and down so drastically and the huge sobs down toned to whimpering.

“It’s Mic, he’s a bastard. He cheated on me. He’d rather that bitch, whoever she is, than me. He’s called off our engagement party. He called off our relationship.”

The waterworks started again, and this time I said nothing. I did not hold you, I did not console you. Because I knew, I was that bitch.

“Oh Pam, I don’t want to live anymore. He was my life. He is my life!”

...

The sound of screeching tires pulled me back to the moment. I was still in the restaurant, but this time, I jolted straight up, almost knocking my chair over in the process. I tore past the annoyed glares, the inquisitive glances. My hair slapped my face continuously and tears streamed down uncontrollably as my legs twisted and knotted themselves together, not used to the breakneck speed at which I was sprinting at.

I stopped in my tracks, almost knocking myself over with that sudden action. Putrid smells of salt and rust filled the air and flared up my nostrils – without doubt, blood. Dark, billowing clouds of greenhouse gases clouded my view, ear-piercing sounds and pungent smells of burning rubber was witnessed. I waited impatiently for the thick layers of clouds to peel away, and that was when my heart leaped out of my body.

Scraped metal and shards of pristine glass were spewed all across the cross junction, punctured tires were heaving under the sheer heat of the raging fire that had just sparked. People, if you could still call them that, were broken and twisted, hanging over each other as if in a game of grotesque Twister.

I lunged toward the scene. I knew you were there, I just knew. I slapped myself on my forehead. How could I have been so ignorant? First, I betray you in the most inhumane way possible, and now I ignore the signs and clues you were so opening dropping at my feet? I did not deserve to be your best friend, much less your friend.

Shots of concern hurtled at me as my hand clasped tightly over my mouth, and all colour drained from my face. There you were, squashed in the middle between someone else and a side door from a Jeep. Your curls were flat and dead, dyed red from your blood that was profusely gushing out from that large gash embedded in your forehead. Your eyes were closed, your face smudged with dirt. Torn and begrimed, your clothes were a gone case. In the background, wails of ambulance and police sirens resounded but they could not help you. Your legs were twisted beneath you in weird angles, your stomach had another gash to compliment the gigantic one on your forehead, and your face was as pale as a sheet. Pain seemed to envelope you in a tightening blanket, not determined to let you go as it continued to suck the little life out of what was left of you.

I buckled to my knees, because I had just killed you.
xoxo 11:40 PM

I'm gonna kill myself.


Exams are coming.
Stressed like fuck because I havn't revised finish yet.
And English paper is in like 5 days.

I don't want to study anymore.
I don't want to do anything anymore.


Why do you keep doing this to me?

You keep coming,
Blow after blow.
I've barely stood up and now you knock me down again.

I'm drained emotionally and physically.
You can't ask me to carry on with life.
I can't do it.
I have no strength left.

You can't ask me to forget you.
Cause you are me.

Does all the time we spent together mean nothing,
Again?

I guess it really does.



I'm going to sleep now and hopefully when I wake up all of this is going to be just a nightmare.
Or else I don't think I ever want to wake up.







...






Can't sleep.
Thank God it's Friday.

I know it's not your fault.
I really shouldn't be blaming you.

But now that you're gone,
Again,
What am I suppose to do.

Why do you keep shoving me into dead ends,
And leave me there all alone?

It's only been 52 minutes but I really really can't take it anymore.
I want to hear your voice,
I need to see you again.

I almost called 14 times,
I almost smsed 26 times,
But I guess I can't cause everytime I end up in tears again.


Omg I'm such an emotional wreck I think I'm scaring myself.
I just fell down again cause I couldn't see where I was walking.
Had one of those fuzzy moments when you stand up too fast.

I think I sprained my ankle.
Hurts like fuck.
-.-




I wanna be strong but I don't see how I can.

I just want to know why.
Why me,
Again.

Will it never change?

Since forever,
It's always been me.
Always.

I guess it won't never change.

But I'll wait.
xoxo 7:44 PM

Have been super tired this past week ;(
Sleeping super late cause I've been talking on the phone like every night I guess.

Omg exams are super near but I don't feel like studying.
All my motivation is gone manxx.

Anyway I've stopped using my crutches omg they kill my armpits.
Went for an X-Ray today @ KK.
And now I've got this big ugly air cast >;(
At least I don't need crutches thank God.

Hehe I got mc for 2 months for no PE and CCA :)
I can feel my 2.4 is going to be damn bad after this lol.

Anyway Sakina and I agree that we run faster for 2.4 during PE than @ training :0
I ran like 11.36 during PE yay but during training my fastest is only 11.57 ;(
I think I always get scared when I see Coach lol.

Anyway went for U' 14 trials on Sat with Sheryl, Lyn and Shok Teng.
Played three games.
Fell during the first and I heard a crack so I knew I sprained my ankle.
But continued playing the two games that's why the physician said I dislocated my ankle :(

Sheryl and I got in second round so we went down to Kallang on Mon.
They didn't let me play so yeh didn't make it ;0

Anyway made friends while I was slacking there hahha.

Couldn't sleep last night.
Think I was PMSing I was damn pissed then remourseful then hateful wth.
Anyway ran out to J8 @ 9.30 hoping to catch the stores before they closed.
Managed to get there in time to buy something for B :)

Happy Birthday, Twinny!
xoxo 9:40 PM

School Nationals

Channel 5

Wednesdays

7.30pm


Every body must watch next week ok,
IJ Netties are on :D

Congratxx Seniors for getting first for Nationals!!

:D

Anyway I'm super tired now.
I freaking dislocated my ankle and pulled my ligaments during trials yesterday.
Lol.

Don't know I'm going to do tomorrow for second round lol.

On the bright side I'm taking cab to school for a week or till I'm better.
Yay lol :)

Remember to watch!!
xoxo 8:21 PM

I roll around in bed cause I can't sleep.
I'm missing something,
And I realise it's you.
xoxo 11:23 PM

Why did you say

I love you

If you knew that

It wouldn't last?
xoxo 10:20 PM

Ok this post is way overdue :(

I kinda let all the pictures rot in my phone.
Because I always send pics from my phone to my lappy via bluetooth.

But my phone kinda sucks >:(
It can't select all photos and send all at once.
Must send 1 by 1 and I have a 100 over pics so I was like wth forget it.

But since today is Good Friday and I just had tuition I decided to go find my cable (is that what you call it) to connect my phone to my lappy.

Then I just imported all my pics over.
Yay me :)

But it imported to Windows Photo Gallery wth.
And I can't upload pics here from there :(
So I manually dragged every pic to the bluetooth exchange folder.

Hah I am such an idiot.
Anyway I learnt to sync pics with my iTouch too.
LOL.

Yay me :)

-.-





........



Before the post!!
Birthdays! :)


11 April
Denise Lim

12 April
Justina

13 April
Ezekiel
Sakina
Xin Hui

14 April
Dewi
Amanda Chew

15 April
Daryl
Sheryl

16 April
Nadia

18 April
Brittany

19 April
Gracine baby

22 April
Glenys


Happy birthday peeps :D



......




Ok anyway.
A few days, weeks, years back,
Netballers had a BBQ :)
Sort of to highten our moods?

Because Coach isn't very encouraging and we were kinda demoralised from all the matches and her continues scolding >:(

Went to PS first to buy ingrediants.
Suppose to meet @ 4.30,
But I came @ 4 hahah.

I'm such an idiot manx.

Anyway.
Wondered and bought fried Mars balls.
Eh it's actually quite good leh :)
I like it :)

Waited till 5 for people to come -.-
Lol was super bored walking around nowhere >:(

Anyways Kim came and dragged me out to wait with her for Pet who came super late >;(

Then we all MRTed to Braddell to walk to Van's house :)




Sheryl the Stick and Danielle :)

Hahha.

Thank you Sheryl for always teaching me how to defend properly in the semi circle :)
Though I'm super slow ):
Hahaha.

And please eat more so you can be a stronger GK!
:D
Though you're a wonderful one already.

And thank you Danielle for always being lame and cheering me up.
And letting me steal your food/drink whatever.
:D

Your bangs are kwel but my fringe is kweler :)

Good luck for your musical today!





Cezanne!

Thanks for always picking balls for me,
Hahha.
And stop kicking them you're not pro >:(
Lol.

Thanks for always taking stats for us during our games,
And getting scolded by Coach.
You're a hero :)





Sheryl and Fang Ying!

Fang Ying,
Thanks for being such an amazing captain,
Though you suck when you're off duty >:(
Hahaha Joking :)

Stop worrying about your 2.4 ok.
You're an awsome Center don't let Coach tell you otherwise :D




Callista!

Hello used-to-be partner.
Hahha,
You rock at catching balls man lol.
People anyhow throw you also can turn and catch,
Like dancing like that leh haha.

Anyway please throw your lob properly >:(
Lol.

Time your runs and stop running 2.4 so fast already.
You're still Sec 1 leh very paiseh to lose to you lol.

Hahha, anyway.
You're a great WA,
Better play well next year and get back the Champion for C Div ok! :)





Kim!

Hey there bitch :)

Please control your temper and your bladder.
Hahaha!
Stop going to the toilet!
Lol.

Anyway you play superly well when you're focused,
No fanciful stuff (Hahaha)

Concentrate on your shots GA :)





Shermin &Lyn.

Shermin stop running so fast for 2.4 also ok :(
Try to beat you also hard lol.

Anyway,
You're very fast so just go all out to chase your player ok.
And don't get affected when Coach says you're slow because that's a lie.
Hahha.

But you're a great WD all the same :)
Love you pokemon buddy :D


Lynnnn!
Omg omg omg hahaha got nothing to say about you.

Ok ok you're a great defender stop falling down during matches!
Please take care of yourself hor,
Always injured till so serious :(

Work hard to communicate better with Sheryl in the semi circle!

Then you can be the proest GD, hahhaa.
(Not that you're not very pro already.)





Shok Teng!


Please concentrate on your shots!! >:(
Miss one shot run three rounds!!
Hahaha.

Anyway you're a great GS luh,
Just stay focused on your shots!! >:(
Lol.











Kim &Pet.





Qi Zhi, Kim, Pet.


Qi Zhi stop running so fast also lah >:(
Hahaha.








Kah Hui, Sheryl &Shi Pei :)





Jacky &Kim,




















Kim, Aly, Danielle!



































Pet &Vanessa.








Kah Hui caught two mosquitos that night!
Omg she's our hero hahah :)




















Anyway,
I was doing the fire the whole night >:(
Diandra and Cezanne was cooking :)

So now I have permanantly enlarged pores!!
LOL.


Anyway was suppose to be home by 10 but then I lost track of time doing the fire :(
So called mum to come and fetch me home in the end,
Hahah.

BBQ was fun overall,
Ate potato slices and hamburgers haha.

Ran out of drinks halfway lol cause we only bought four bottles -.-

But it was a fruitful outing :)
We should do it again.


Anyway,
Good luck to the Seniors,
Final lap,
Then we're done with Nationals.

Go seniors! :)




.....




Ok I've been quite pissed with strangers lately.
Especially grown up strangers.

It's like they're 5 years old or something.

They have absolutely no manners man.

Two aunties (sorry wanna be mean) and two guys were waiting for the lift with me.
So the lift comes,
And being the angel that I am (HAHAH) I let them all go in first.

No one bothers to ask what floor I might be going to,
So I reach across the vast space (fine, exaggerated) to press the '8' button.

So one aunty goes off at the fifth floor,
And the other aunty and two uncles are left.

We reach the eigth floor,
I let them go out first as my mummy says to do so.

So they all go out and no one bothers to open the door for me so when I want to go out the door closes in my face >:(

No one bothers to open it for me from the outside so I need to press the open button and go out myself.

Omg what the fuck.





The other time I was at harbourfront MRT station.
I was coming out of the train.

People who were boarding are suppose to let us go out first right?
But there was his haggard looking (ok fine again exaggerated) aunty that was standing right smack in the middle waiting to come in the minute the doors open.

So I was going to go out,
But there she is charging in.

I got so pissed I just pushed her.

So she stumbled and made this 'tsk' sound.

But I was like what the hell you're suppose to stand behind the yellow marking and wait for the commuters to come out first before you go in what so you get pushed also is your fault because you insist on going agaisnt the human traffic.

Right?

Mummy told me I was wrong to push an old lady but what the heck.
I can't stand this kind of people -.-

Lol.

At least I pushed one side of her body only :(
And she didn't fall.
Hah.


Anyway I think the Government should start making a 'Teach Your Kids Manners' campaign or something and stop wasting time on the Chinese one HAHAH.

But the adverts for the Chinese one is good.
The kids are so cute but I'm so embarrassed LOL.





......





Btw I cut my hair :)
I won't post a picture because I shyxx.

LOL.

Thanks to everyone who says I look like Cleo Patra :(

Ms Champion says that I need to go for another haircut because she thinks this is not acceptable,
But I just spent $70 on this haircut I'm not going to cut it again after one day >:(

Waste money.
Lol.


Edit
Since people are pestering me to post pictures fine I'll post :(












Ok now all of you can stop asking for pictures because this is embarrassing hahah.

Special thanks to Shok Teng who says I look fatter in this haircut -.-

Lol.

By the way my fringe is not bangs lahhh :(
It's sloped ok.
SLOPED!
>:(


Ms Tay's first reaction when she saw me was
"OMG Tessa what happened to you!"

Hahahha Ms Tay is so cute :)

Before she went home,
She told me.
"I need to go home and mark these horrendous pieces of work"

Then I was like
"I know Ms Tay. I bet you miss having me in your class because I was such a good student right."

Then she was like,
"I'm going home to puke now."

>:(!!
Hhahaha.


Ms Lock said
"Ah Tessol, you cut your hair arh."

"My name is not Tessol :("

"Then what's your name ah"

"Tessa!!!"


HAHAHA.
1 year already she still can't pronounce my name hah :(

I miss Ms Lock and Ms Tay they were such awsome teachers :(

Ms Lock has the Ice Cream phone!! :0
I think it's very pretty leh,
Hahah.
But my phone's still the best heh 8D



.....




Ok it's raining again and I need to complete my history homework before my Math tutor comes again :(

Easter party @ Sentosa tomorrow,
I don't wanna go for training.
How how how!! :(

I'm so sick of saturday training already lor.
Don't want to wake up early leh :(






"You stuck in my head
Like a song on the radio"
xoxo 1:04 PM

Why.

Is it me?
I think it's me.

I suck at decision making.
I think I suck A LOT.
-.-

I thought I'd get something like what everyone else has.
But I guess fairytales and happy endings just don't go with me.

I want to blame everyone else:
Why is it always me that gets hurt?

But I guess it's ultimately my fault.

I just wanna know why.
Why me.
xoxo 8:53 PM

You save her,
But kill me
In the process.
xoxo 10:10 PM

Cause you left me with no love,
And no love to my name

I'm just a kid
And life is a nightmare
xoxo 7:47 PM

It's over,

You know it's over this time


I wanna die.

Today's training was totally wth.
Everyone was hoping that Coach would ask the whole C Div to get lost.

Cause we're out of Nationals already,
So we found no point in training anymore.

Interval was horrible.
Didn't meet my 6 rounds timing so had to run the 2 rounds in 2 minutes argh :(

I was like rubbing all my snot away the whole time
-.-

Did piomatrix (sp?) and Coach totally ignored us.
Seniors did triangle @ basketball court and Coach stood there while we were like slacking @ the netball court.
But the sun was damn friggin' hot so we were dying anyway.

Midway when I was doing piomatrix Coach made me go up to the indoor sports hall to do drills with seniors.

I was like,
Can drink water not?
-.- So took a sip but then Coach was in front of me so couldn't drink anymore :(

Did lob drill with Jaime and Angela it was kind of ok.
Halfway Coach gave us water break :)

But after we were done she only gave Jaime water break :(
She didn't give me just ask me go defend Diandra in half court.

Wth wth so tired and thirsty :(
Did finish,
Didn't get water break again -.-

Then Coach asked me to do triangle and those who havn't finish to do so.
Omg I did triangle finish in 20 mins manxx.

Chiong like -.-

My cooler today was so full.
So much water leftover cause so little water break uh! :(

This is like 3rd time Coach forgot to give me water break walao.

Coach came down to scold us cause we never keep the pole immediately after training?-.-
So now we gotta run extra @ the next training argh.

Damn tired.
Went home to eat porraige lol.

Fell asleep on the sofa :(

Woke up,
Showered,
Went down to go see doctor.

But all 4 doctors were closed -.-
Omg @ this point I was damn tired :(
Feel super sick now -.-

:( urh.
Life sucks now.
Tired sick and sad.
xoxo 7:24 PM

Oh :(

I'm trying to be strong.
I need to be strong.

I know I may seem frivolous and all,
But I'm just trying to comfort you in some whacked way :(

I'm not gonna crumble,
I'm not gonna break down,
I'm putting up a strong front for you.

I keep saying it's ok it's alright,
Everything's gonna work out.

But deep down inside I'm screaming,

Don't do this to me, please.

I want to wait,
I will wait.
xoxo 8:54 PM